My red lentils have no nose…

How do they smell? Terrible!*

Today I thought I’d take the opportunity to have another go at the perfect lentil burger. Sadly, things didn’t quite go as planned.

Vegan MoFo 2013 banner image

I went out early and picked up some lovely wholegrain rolls to go with tonight’s ‘perfect lentil burgers’. I thought I’d get them ready early because we were likely to be busy this afternoon, IF the news about B’s redundancy finally comes through!

I tore open a big bag of red lentils, and as I was rinsing them, I noticed an odd, unpleasant odour. A manky, sweetish, rotting kind of smell. I looked at them closely, and they looked just like normal red lentils, so I thought they might just need a really good wash. After a couple of minutes swooshing and rinsing and draining and rinsing again and again, I took a big sniff and nearly gagged!

smelly red lentils in the bin

In the bin!

Funny, I thought, I wonder if they always smell like that but I just have never noticed before… So I took a second bag of lentils out of the pantry, ripped it open and took a much-more-wary sniff. They didn’t smell like anything much. I went back to the first bag…just a little sniff…bleahhhh!

I looked at the odourless bag and considered using those to make the burgers tonight, but I’d lost my appetite for red lentils (hopefully it’s not permanent – The Lentil Institution needs lentils!). I looked at the French lentils and green lentils in the pantry. Couldn’t stomach those either. Beans? Nup. Tofu? Maybe. Nuts? Perhaps, but I’m not really sure I feel like eating anything at all after that!

Wacky Crazy Made-in-the-pan Budget Chocolate Cake

Luckily I did find something to cook. One of my friends posted Sweet Little Bluebird’s Chocolate Crazy Cake on Facebook this morning. This is a chocolate cake with no eggs or dairy products.

I’ve seen similar cakes called Wacky Cake and Depression Cake. It’s very similar to the Women’s Weekly Chocolate Cakes cookbook’s Budget Chocolate Cake, and to Made-in-the-pan Chocolate Cake  from Molly Katzen’s children’s vegetarian cookbook Honest Pretzels (the first cake H ever made by herself). Obviously it’s popular!

I figure we could do with a little bit of cocoa and sugar tonight. I know I should probably deal with worry by practicing my swimming rather than comfort eating—but maybe I’ll do both.

The cake is really easy to make and is all mixed up in the pan, so there’s not much washing up. The only problem with that is that there’s no opportunity to sneak the leftover egg-free cake mixture from the mixing bowl! Anyway, it was about the right amount of commitment and concentration for me today. It’s in the oven as I type, but I’ll add a photo before I publish this post…and here it is:

Crazy cake with chocolate icing


I’m looking forward to trying it. We usually eat Made-in-the-pan Chocolate Cake hot from the oven, so it’s almost like a pudding. I cooled this one and iced it with a simple chocolate icing made from coconut oil, icing mixture, Dutch cocoa and water. (At least I could lick that bowl!) It almost seems like a chocolate brownie.

My dog has no nose

*This, of course, comes from the old joke “My dog has no nose.” “How does he smell?” “Terrible!”

While I was looking for a video of someone telling that joke, I came across this story about a really brave dog in the Philippines who saved two girls from being hit by a motorbike. He lost his snout in the process, but was taken to California for surgery afterwards to cover exposed areas of her face. Poor, lovely dog. What a hero…

6 thoughts on “My red lentils have no nose…

  1. I’ve read about that dog before; what a hero! So odd about this lentils, but anything that turns an evening into chocolate cake is okay in my book. Btw, eating it right out of the pan so that it’s like chocolate pudding? Genius!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s